THE TRAVELING PARENT

This blog post is intended to be about the benefits & challenges of traveling with and without young children. This is not intended to be about parenting, although I will speak on my own experience as a seasoned traveler, travel advisor, and as a mother. Our points of view may differ along the way, but there will be something in here that is relatable and that sparks a conversation about travel. That’s my goal. If this post inspires at least one person to face the normal anxiety that comes along with traveling with your little one for the first time, OR taking your first trip away from your baby, then writing this was worth it.

We all need some sort of “escape” from the day to day grind as parents. This temporary escape looks different for everyone. It might be indulging in your favorite reality TV show after your babe is fast asleep. It might be your Friday night date night to break up the long week. Perhaps it’s a 90 minute massage or your weekly pilates class. Or maybe it’s all of the above. Or maybe it’s vino.

For some people, including myself, it’s TRAVEL THERAPY. Yes, it’s a real thing!

It’s easy to lose ourselves in parenthood. After all, it is one of the most important jobs we have in life. As parents, you are the foundation of your family, and it is important to nourish that foundation. If you are feeling your best, you naturally radiate positivity and happy vibes to your family. But if you are constantly feeling like you are missing out on something, or tired and irritable, what kind of role model will you be? Allowing ourselves to indulge in travel is an act of self love, and when you model self love, care, & adventure, this won’t go unnoticed by your little one.

But why do so many parents deny themselves of the opportunity to travel? Does your mom-friend Sally have you second guessing yourself? Fear of judgement from other parents is normal - but that doesn’t mean you have to miss out on doing things you love, and that includes traveling. The long term benefits of a travel experience outweigh someone else’s judgement or the temporary guilt you may feel while you are away from your child. Having a travel experience allows you to rekindle your relationship with yourself and with your spouse (or friend!) - and when you finally decide to take your first trip away from your children, they will profit from YOUR travel experience. You’ll be coming home with a fresh perspective on life, & will be inspired to pass down what you’ve learned to your little one. These learned things are not something you can find in a textbook. 

So when is the right time to travel WITHOUT your kids? Well, there is no right answer to that. That time is different for every parent. Some parents feel comfortable planning a getaway within the first year of a child’s life and others may not be ready so soon. And that’s okay. But whenever your time comes and it feels right to you, lose the guilt and make travel a priority just like any other thing that is important to you. Plan for it. Save for it. It’s OK to look forward to your time away. Don’t downplay your excitement.

Let’s face it, there are some things that are simply more enjoyable without your kids in tow. Like wine tasting in Tuscany, level 6 white water rafting in Patagonia, dinner at a fancy, romantical restaurant in Paris, or walking miles upon miles in a foreign city. Please don’t be mistaken - traveling with your kids is a wonderful thing, but it’s just a DIFFERENT kind of trip & you may not be able to do certain things when young children tag along.

SOME BENEFITS - (TRAVELING WITHOUT YOUR CHILD):

• Those extra hours of sleep & fun in the sun have you recharged. Parents come back from vacay feeling less irritable than they left the house, grateful, and on their "A GAME"!
• It’s a beautiful thing when others love & care about your kid. Quality bonding time between your child and the trusted caregiver is special and an important key factor in a successful getaway. It’s a win-win for all parties & a healthy dynamic for everyone involved. Knowing that your child is in loving/ responsible arms while you’re away is EVERYTHING.
• If you’re traveling without your spouse, your spouse has the opportunity to experience a few days in your shoes which allows them to better understand & appreciate the role you play in your family.

Growth isn’t always comfortable - but during your time away, parents experience growth through adventure.. meanwhile the child experiences growth through independence and adaptation. They are slowly learning that when mommy & daddy leave, they always come back. And this is just part of reality, especially for parents who have to travel for work. Your kids will begin to build confidence and gain a sense of independence that is a necessity in the world we live in. That is invaluable.

SOME CHALLENGES - (TRAVELING WITHOUT YOUR CHILD):

• Missing your baby so much it hurts. (I promise, the feeling is only temporary). 
• You want to set up your child and your trusted caregiver for success - and that takes extra work on top of trying to get yourself ready for your trip. It just comes with the territory.
• As a parent, it’s normal to go through mixed emotions leading up to your trip. Guilt, fear, anxiety etc. These are all normal things. But if we constantly live in fear would we be able to live our true, authentic lives to the fullest? Probably not. 

Traveling with or without your kids looks different for everyone. But the point is that the OUTCOME of a travel experience is always a positive thing. As for traveling as a family, it IS possible to integrate a child into your lifestyle if you are already an avid traveler or if you aspire to travel more. As your child evolves, so will your travel plans - And when you travel as a family you get to enjoy all the stages of your child in a different way than you would at home.

Now on the flip side, here are some legit reasons why you SHOULD travel WITH your babe:

• Your kids will remember experiences, NOT things. Even as babies, traveling shapes them & teaches them to adapt to different situations. It gives them a sense of wander, adventure, & teaches them patience. Travel is education for your kids. It expands their minds & shows them that there is more to life than what they see at home. You can’t buy that.
• Meeting people from different backgrounds teaches them compassion towards other cultures.. & making new friends is a bonus! 
• Parents come back feeling accomplished - even after an airplane meltdown (I’ve had one of those.. yikes). There is a sense of pride you feel when you have just had a rewarding family vacation, all while keeping your cool in stressful situations.
• It’s 2020! There are SO many new baby products & gadgets to help make travel easier.
• Vacations = quality bonding time & creating memories that will last a lifetime.

Children are so pure and innocent. They see the world differently than adults. Traveling with them can help us see the world in a way that we never imagined. Witnessing your child see the ocean for their first time or experiencing their first plane ride together is priceless! It reminds us not to take the little things for granted.

We took our daughter to Tulum, Mexico when she was about 5 months old & her first plane ride was when she was about 3 months old. I had posted some photos & videos from the trip on my instagram and captioned this: “I’m feeling really proud of ourselves after this vacation. @richsanto and I have traveled many beautiful places together, but this vacation was the most beautiful, challenging, and gratifying because we had our daughter with us. ((In my own mom feelings right now)) :) Even though she will likely not remember this trip, we will always strive to nurture her curiosity through travel and experiences, teach her to adapt to different situations and environments, help her to develop independence and compassion, connect her with cultures and people around the world, and continue to feed her adventurous spirit. Not all classrooms have 4 walls - sometimes they have sand and an ocean breeze ”

Traveling as a family is THE dream - but nobody said traveling with kids is easy. Parenting can be a challenge whether you are at home or whether you are at a beautiful resort in Aruba. Same but different. Feel me?

SOME CHALLENGES - (TRAVELING WITH YOUR CHILD):

• Of course, it’s more expensive to travel as a family (But remember - kids fly for free under 2 years of age... take advantage of this especially while they are less mobile).
• Stressful situations like your crying baby on the plane (woooosaaa... come prepared). Meltdowns are bound to happen even if you claim to have a saint for a child. You’ll be surprised to find that other parents on flights can be kind and understanding. Although you will get the occasional eye roll. Pay no attention to that.
• Restricted activities with young kids / babies.. raincheck on the Cavalli Club in Dubai.
• Too much luggage - It’s hard for a lot of people (including myself) to pack light with a kid because you want to be extra prepared. Car seat CHECK. Stroller CHECK. Big Fluffy Bear CHECK. You’ll learn to refine your packing skills over time. I’m still working on this.

Regardless of the challenges, traveling is a way of supporting learning & exploring. It feeds your soul in so many indescribable ways. Positive travel experiences as a child soon turn to fond memories - memories that help our little ones to understand more about the world. We can give so much more to others as we continue to grow and evolve through our travel experiences. Everyday is a precious gift & often times I find that when people delay their travel dreams, it becomes a distant daydream and never becomes a reality. I absolutely love traveling with my daughter & I also enjoy the trips that we take without her. This is my happy balance. What’s yours?